All At Once
by afamiliarsmile
Summary: Caroline's thoughts on Damon. Mostly drabble. CxD


Authors Note: This if my first Vampire Diaries fanfiction, trying my hand at it. I have read the books but I figured I'd post something from the show first. This was already posted over in the books section on this site but I figured I should post it over with the other tv show fics.

At the end there is a small bit from last weeks episode that may seem a bit off. The reason for that is I had gone off of a preview clip before watching the episode. So please forgive me for the error.

Quick note: Why the hell does Caroline's last name start with a T in the character guide? What?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries or any of the characters. They belong to L.J. Smith. Please refrain from suing me. **

* * *

He had become her curse. His hypnotic blue eyes that could both frighten and enchant her. His lips that could kiss her and pull back into a snarl. His teeth that could playfully nip at her ear and tear into her throat. Damon Salvatore had become her own personal heaven and hell. He had been sent straight to Earth to punish little Miss Caroline Forbes.

Everything had started innocently enough.

He had sent a smile her way on one of those nights she moped around. He had not been sitting far and had beckoned her over. She had returned a smile similar enough to his with a raise of her brow; it had meant to be suggestive. It had meant to make him come to her. But she had not gone to him and he had not gone to her. She had finished her drink and gone home when she was sober and able to. Now she could not help but wonder what could have happened if she had left it at that. But Caroline Forbes did not back down from a conquest, she went after what she wanted. That was what had gotten her into this whole mess.

The following night she saw him should have been a clear warning. Her instincts had been screeching danger but her hormones had been screaming something entirely different. She had let him take her home; let him fill her head with silly, meaningless words that drew her to bed. He had called her beautiful. She had wanted to be beautiful for him and that had been her mistake.

The first time he bit her had hurt. It had hurt terribly.

Their encounter the following morning had hurt too. She had angered him and she had started screaming again when his teeth pierced her throat. She had been terrified of him them. The third time her thrashing had not been quite so severe. After the fourth she had stopped moving all together. When the fifth time rolled around she had willed herself to stay still. Like a porcelain doll. He had compared her to one.

His voice had been a whisper against her skin. It had created gooseflesh on her arms. He spoke of her soft, golden hair and her bright blue eyes. Her red cheeks when she was flushed and her pink lips when he had thoroughly taken advantage of them. He complimented her smooth, pale flesh before he bit. But he had not held her the way one would hold a doll. His hands had tightened on her and he was hardly ever gentle. He was rough and harsh. But he was sweet to her too.

If she behaved well enough sometimes he would kiss her. She had earned it. But more often than not the kisses were tinged with copper and salt. Her lips always turned a darker shade afterward, stained with red.

"You can be very sweet when you want to be," She had told him. His cocky response was that he could. She had believed him. He could be kind, when he was not biting her. Or insulting her. Or hypnotizing her. Yes, he could be very sweet with his quick, soft kisses and light touches. However far in between they were. But those moments were rare, incredibly so.

In fact, now that she really thought about it, Damon only treated her with remote kindness when he wanted something. It was something she did not quite understand but she suspected it was a part of his game. Because that was what all of this was. Nothing more than a game. She had just hoped that she would be a larger player. She may have known deep down that she was nothing more than a pawn, disposable. But she had hoped it was different. Her hope and trust in Damon led to her own down fall.

He had genuinely scared her that night. He had not done that since their first night together. Even when he had admitted he would eventually kill her she had not been afraid. She had assumed, or rather wished, her death would only lead to her rebirth and she would walk along side him for an eternity. It was what all of those sappy vampire romance novels said. It had been a silly thought though, careless and naïve of her. She certainly did not love him and it was painfully obvious that he did not love her. She doubted he ever could if he even tried.

Yet she had thought for a fleeting moment that he would let her live. As his arms wrapped around her waist and he planted kisses in her hair and on her neck she thought she had a chance. So her hand had covered his and she leaned back into his embrace. The next words he spoke had changed all of that.

"_Unfortunately for you I am so over you now."_

She did not struggle when he bit though she fought mentally to do just that. He had managed to catch her off guard. Even as they dropped to the grass below with his arms cradling her as he fed she did not make a noise except for a quiet gasp. She could feel her life force leaving her body. Then it had all stopped and he was gone. She allowed herself to fall into unconsciousness. Still, a small strand hoped he had stopped to save her. He had stopped because he realized what he was doing was wrong. But the logical side of her knew.

Something had happened or someone had intervened.

His voice played over in her head on repeat as she drifted.

"_This could have gone an entirely different way."_

"_Go see if Elena needs help in the kitchen."_

"_Not if you're wearing that dress."_

"_Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun."_

"_Mhm. But not yet."_

"_It's not stealing if it's mine."_

"_Don't talk please."_

"_Unfortunately for you I am so over you now."_

When she woke she cried into Elena's embrace. She had clutched the crystal that held such meaning to hem though she had not known why. She had sworn she was fine but inside something was breaking. He had tried to kill her and within that she was broken. She felt like a shattered porcelain doll. Fragments were scattered about. As she stood there she wondered if she would ever be rid of him.

But now as she stood in the empty school hallway staring with wide, frightened eyes at the face of her old lover she knew. He would never leave her. His face was different now though. It looked haggard. His eyes were dull with shadows underneath them. He wore the same suit he had worn the day of the party. He had looked so tired, drained of strength. She could not help but feel a pang of sadness at his appearance, but it was accompanied by both fear and part of her said good riddance.

"Help me Caroline." His hoarse plea was quiet.

But she blinked and then he was gone. He had been nothing more than something planted by her imagination. But something pulled at the strings in the back of her mind. It was more than that, she knew. Damon was in trouble, she felt it. He had appeared to her for help. He had tried to kill her though and that was not easily forgiven. So she chose the easy way out, the way that would avoid her feelings, she shut her eyes to clear her head and turned to walk out of the hallway. Just because Damon Salvatore would never leave her thoughts did not mean that she could not pretend.

And Caroline was perfectly content with that. Well, for the moment.

* * *

Please review to let me know what you think!


End file.
